Seriously people.

WARNING: SUPER LONG RANT AHEAD WRITTEN BY AN EXTREMELY SALTY SHIPPER. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. THEN AGAIN, YOU MIGHT GET A KICK OUTTA THIS.

Oh my Arceus, thank you so much. I truly thought I was the only one to think that White would be on top in Ferriswheel. I don't even ship it as much as I used to. I mean, I still do ship it, but I ship Checkmate a whole lot more. And I still feel weird shipping Checkmate because I ship DualRival even more.

But I digress. What matters here is that I sorta ship Ferriswheel and Twilight has ruined this ship for me. Everywhere I look, no matter how specific I am in my searches, I just can't seem to escape the image of White being a pushover crybaby who can't live without her super kawaii sugoi desu ne husbando, N. Do you know how long it's been since I found a good Ferriswheelshipping fanfic? It's been forever plus a couple infinitys and a millennia. You know why? Because I never found a good one, that's why.

Honestly, Fetishwheel fangirls need to calm their tits with all this shitty fanfic. I can't go a single step into my tumblr feed without seeing them praise N as if he's the second coming of Jesus fucking Christ. I mean, I like N as much as the next guy, but there's something genuinely wrong with you if you think he's this perfect, silver tongued seducer who needs White's ass more than the fucking air they breathe. The same could go for White. Except she's apparently a damsel in distress who gets separation anxiety when N isn't in the same half of the room for 5 seconds. That's just not them. Not even close, you probably couldn't be any farther from the truth.

Alright, I admit that I used to be very lenient with how characterization and pairings went. But I have long since woken up and realized that Ferriswheelshipping just wouldn't work out when you look at it realistically. Dream all you want, but the ferriswheel scene wasn't romantic, the Chargestone Cave scene wasn't romantic, the Dragonspiral Tower scene wasn't romantic, and while the Farewell scene could be interpreted as having slight romantic undertones, just take all the scenes I just listed. Doesn't the Farewell scene look so much more platonic once you take those into account? In fact, I'll go one step beyond.

In Black 2/White 2, it's actually canon that White OR Black, depending on which gender you chose, went to search for N. While the reasoning is kinda unknown, I don't really think it was for any romantic agenda. The most reasonable explanation would be that White/Black felt that N might be a bit too innocent and naive to tackle the real world by himself, so they wanted to help him get through things while making sure he doesn't get himself into trouble. Think of it like this. If a small child skips country all alone to be their own adult, would you leave that child to be kidnapped and/or worse? I doubt it. N is basically an overgrown child who just so happens to be a math genius. And a child needs a helping hand to go on the right track.

In my eyes, the farthest that Ferriswheelshipping could go relationship-wise is to more of a sibling type bond or best friends at the very highest. The only thing going for this ship is the potential it has to be great. Well, that and their personalities are pretty much compatible overall. But yeah, thank you for making this ship bearable for me to look twice at again. Sorry for going on a colossal tangent there, but I did warn you that I was gonna be extremely salty. I do feel better now.